FR : Cher lecteur francophone, tu as déjà reçu cette lettre en français hier ;). Pour la lire c’est ici. Ce que tu ne trouveras pas dans cette version d’aujourd’hui: les détails de l’atelier créatif pour incarner sa vérité. Tout ça, le pour quoi, comment, pour qui, avec qui, c’est en cliquant là.
And, I wonder when we are ever gonna change, change
Living under the fear, 'til nothing else remains
So, what do we do with our lives
We leave only a mark
Will our story shine like a light or end in the dark?
Give it all or nothing
We don't need another hero
Tina Turner / Graham Lyle Terry Britten - WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER HERO
As a child, I had this internalized rage at not being recognized for who I really was. A model pupil and child, strange in the eyes of others without them really knowing why (thank you invisible feminine autism amongst other reasons), I came across as the mute, discreet, conformist (I could identify children around me in the same inner case, except that outwardly they were officially sidelined by the school and their peers, while I was the chameleon). This was totally at odds with my inner character, who wanted to achieve great things and be totally free (a cross between a Superwoman and Saint Bernadette - yes, I love opposites and paradoxes).
Hello dissonance, hello the pain of living as a survivor, always well-received when I played the perfect daughter, but stifled by children and adults alike in my slightest inclination to step out of line - not so much by rebelling in the classic way, but simply by daring to speak out, to say the things that sometimes bother even me, or the things that incite wonder and questioning, to share my enthusiasm, my intensity, my curiosity and my joy.
Hello frustration of starting my own business, believing myself free at last to teach singing as I wished, only to find myself trapped by conditioning for a few more years (my own conditionings and that of my professional environment, models preached and taught that seemed so apparently free but so bland and hollow deep down).
In concrete terms, I could write entire books full of anecdotes in which I agreed to :
- participate in or propose activities that pleased me only 1%, 50%, or 90%. Or only 99%.
- forcing my body to keep up, even if it means exhausting itself in the end, all to keep up with the way others work (example: my burn out... and all those times when after 2 hours I should have left instead of staying to please others, be polite etc.)
- say nothing for fear of offending others who thought I was so conventional or, on the contrary, so atypical, and therefore inevitably on their side, like them (there's nothing worse than feeling totally normal or totally out of touch with people who are supposed to be atypical like you), say nothing because you're the only one who thinks the way you think
- acting according to the collective and the needs of others, convinced that it was better for everyone, except that I forgot to put myself first (you can't help anyone if you don't know how to really take care of yourself, how to listen to yourself)
(this is a soft version bc I don’t need to add in details the troubles and consequences on a psychological and physical level - no triggers today ;) , here that’s enough to understand I was not enjoying life at all but dit not even think it could be otherwise)
I spare you the calculations of the amount of energy lost when we embody our truth not at all, halfway, or only 90%.
I spare you the pain of the heart when we act unconsciously from fear or bitterness, when we throw ourselves into battles believing we're saving the world a little when we've forgotten to save ourselves first.
I'll spare you the fatigue insidiously engendered when we accumulate all these little discrepancies with ourselves, often unconsciously, so that over time we end up somatizing in all sorts of ways.
(And the disappointment of not being able to be Superwoman-Bernadette: how could I have believed myself capable of being like them?)
And I'm telling you, the joy, the simplicity, the new-found energy when you get back in touch with your Truth, with strength AND humility.
The body says thank you for the end of minor aches and pains.
The heart says thank you for the end of decisions taken in the fog or turmoil and endless hesitations.
The soul says thank you for all the actions finally taken with coherence, gentleness and benevolence, guilt-free adjustment and re-energizing flexibility.
The hero is not someone who says, does and thinks what he wants all the time, and believes he's right... like an enfant terrible who does as he pleases without taking others into account.
He's the one who experiences inner contradictions and finds the strength and courage to reunite his opposites to make an alliance with his heart.
He dares to embody his truth, to the best of his ability, because he knows that in this way he will appear authentic (a highly overused word, but you'll get the idea) and will then be recognized by others for who he really is without having to claim it form anger (which makes life much easier and more pleasant, and saves precious time for... Living!).
Here's the hero:
the one who knows that working for the common good, to put the world back to rights, starts with daring to embrace this truth within oneself, to radiate it, to inspire others and to take one's place in the world in a simple and just way.
Embodying the truth of one's heart is like the journey of today's heroes.
it looks like this:
daring to say to yourself and to others: yes, no, I don't know, not now, later
following through on a whimsical but inspiring or seemingly unrealistic desire
leaving habits to which we remain loyal for fear of disappointing (family, work, love, friendship...)
trust your intuition more than any other word, even that of an expert, a loved one, a medium, a master thinker or a sweetheart
persisting in our beneficial habits, even if they run counter to the rhythms and norms of society
make the choice to unite with oneself in order to connect with others, leaving behind the systematic and sterile opposition that only serves to divide again and again.
So it all sounds like words, but it's about experiencing them with all the senses.
Without the experience of the body, the heart, the words, the voice: no liberation, no experience to adjust one's self-validation process, no incarnation. No heroes.
My next creative immersive workshop in french is all about this journey.
I’m really looking forward to sharing this process with my english spoken subscribers.
Actually my teaching does not include many speaking :
my body.voice.words practice relies on intuitive movement, vocal improvisation and vocal meditation, sensory writing and meditating. So I’m just here to impulse some kind of prompts.
The truth is I was really empowered these last two years by US meditations teachers linking both creative and spiritual aspects. I attended many online experiences and workshops that thrilled me and echoed with my own professional practice. I always knew this was the meaning of my own transmission and of my art : to make our life an art and our art a way of living. With joy and peace, intensity and calm, depth and laugh. All together in our body.heart, all in unity.
Sometimes you got to get someone further on the path to validate your options in your art, in your life. To confirm what your guts and your heart say ‘yaaaaay” inside to.
So here I am. Empowered by many american poems that I’d so like to share in my embodied writing rituals.
And I often wonder: why didn’t I find these wonderful sharings, teachings, experiences in my little european online sphere? Are french speaking people not ready for that? (In these US online workshops I’m the only french and often we’re very few European fellows).
So my truth for today is written in all my body and all my words: I will write, sing and teach anywhere anyhow, in any language, with and for those who like to embody the same experiences as me.
What is your truth? What is that you need to articulate, with our without words, simply by your presence in this world? Which inner truth helps you both to alleviate your wounds and to rest in peace and inner unity?
Much love,
Marion
PS: Tina you made it! RIP. God bless you and your body.voice.heart.