Body not ready, heart not healed...
when the wound becomes the therapist
Today’s letter is inspired by the last letter of
(gratitude):Andrea mentioned a yoga session where their body could not (yet) do like the others because of the Lyme disease sequelae, despite the involuntary injunctions of the teacher... at the time they did not dare to say everything loud to the teacher that no, lying down was not a sign of weakness of mind!
I agree with his vision of things regarding the formidable, even painful, teachings of the body. We become human again, and truly the pupils of life, when we suffer in our flesh. And while others are stubborn in wanting a perfect body instead of letting themselves live, when our own body suffers we always learn a little more to accept our lived without suffering but without rejecting the vessel in which we live. Paradoxically, suffering elevates us, especially when we know what it feels like to be emptied by fatigue and pain. This elevation occurs when one knows how to be with pain rather than wanting to avoid it or want to become martyrs. And that’s how we lay the foundation for holistic health, not fragmented.
Life is a succession of moments of eternity-made and yet we spend our time looking for how to reach the state where we will be ready to live truly.
Ready, healed of our inner wounds, to finally establish an ideal relationship?
Ready, healthier, to finally enjoy the joy of dancing, singing, according to our own codes?
Ready, spiritually advanced, academically graduated, to finally teach others what we think we know?
It is the Body.heart that knows how to “deal” with the imperfect situation
and it is the Body.heart that knows how to “teach” others about the path they might be willing to take.
A few years ago, I had stopped my individual accompaniments and stopped the Circle songs events (I regularly gave workshops consisting in improvised singing in circles). Briefly, I went through a series of steps that made me take a step back so that I would not be under constant and unconscious pressure. I was looking for a different way to make my business easier for me, more nourishing, more natural.
And then, as things were getting better inside, there was the inexplicable pain in the body, intense or diffuse, random, more or less chronic. I knew that I had hypermobility related to Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. I was really worried about being able to go back to my old business...
‘How can I be available for others, sing with them, move my body, have the energy to guide, transmit, when I had no visibility on my state from one day to another, from one hour to the next?
When will I be ready again?
I could not project anything... I started to wait for the moment when I would be ready one day, again.
Because to pretend to give others the keys of well-being while I was so struggling to get well in my body in the long run, it seemed to me a sham.
Because teaching others to use their diaphragm to release their voice, it became complicated as I myself had such a painful breathing some days.
Because all other professionals in my field had “normal” schedules and worked almost all the same way: several individual classes every day, regular workshops on weekends, long training sessions, concerts, networking, strong online presence, etc.
Nothing in the examples around me corresponded to what I could and wanted to do with my sensitivity, that of my body but also that of my soul. (this phrase is especially for those who find themselves alone on their singular path)
Does the right moment come one day, is there a moment when we are better for good?
The downside of illness, in short, whether it is a disease of the fragmented soul that seeks for truth and does not dare, or a disease of the body that has been taken over and no longer knows how to say themselves, is to find the place where one can still say, write, sing freely, Without apologizing for being imperfect, without waiting to look like anything else than yourself here and now.
What I learned was that the essence of what I could teach others was not in acquired skills, but in being there and in the energy that I could convey. Knowledge is just the pretext, the surface, the varnish. Necessary to dive into the essential. Pretext to unroll the Voice, to lay a frame.
I understand that enthusiasm is contagious and can make others want to go there again when it comes from a space of peace.
I have understood that the softness I install invites others to be gentle with themselves.
I understood that these pains and my differences, had become sources of particular skills: I became better placed to understand what it feels like to have a chronic disease and all that goes with it, to understand how to live well in this normalized world with a neurocognitive or somatic difference.
I have subsequently resumed my activity with more pleasure because I no longer seek to be like the other colleagues in my field: I am this person with full of labels and a particular functioning in relation to the majority standards, and I work with it and through it, and also with and for people who are there for whatever reason.
I have organized my working time to respect my needs for healing and my sensitivity. My services are almost all online and I work asynchronously: a part of the Bodyvoice flow sessions is pre-recorded. For people like me who have a particular rhythm, it’s just perfect. And I’m also live regularly, on Insight timer every Saturday, and twice a month for the Bodyvoice flow sessions with my subscribers. I have preserved 2 days a week where I can freely create without it being for others, but just for me.
Structure and flexibility became my credo. : )
Nothing will ever be perfect in our human body, but we can perfect one thing:
To perfect the care we give ourselves, following our own inner rules, which are those of the body.heart.
For this, it remains to continue this essential thing, which requires time, slowness, curiosity: learn how we like to feel, learn to give us what makes us feel good, from within us. Our voice and body know how to do this very well...
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Mary Oliver, Wild geese (extract)
Take care of your Voice and your Path,
Marion Dorval
Hybrid artist & Bodyvoice flow practitioner Praticienne Bodyvoice flow
Réparer.Libérer.Incarner ∞ Touch.Vibrate.Resonate
NEXT FREE ONLINE PRACTICE
BodyVoice Flow routine - Nurture your Joy
Sat Dec 21 - 08:00 am CET
Infuse your day this 15 min routine from the Bodyvoice flow practice. Come as you are to enjoy your true being! This routine format is a soothing and powerful blend of mindfulness, intuitive movement and vocal improvisation. No skills required, what matters is your curiosity and your will to align both body and mind. Your Body and your Voice can nurture our creativity and support your health in a holistic AND playful way. HSP/ADHD/ASD/neurodivergent/chronic pain? You're all welcome, I am familiar with this too. You will need: 15 min+ space to sit/move/lie down + curiosity+ a calling for loving yourself just the way you are in this moment of your Life.
